Trust.

Current Song: The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else But You


Okay. Once again, I'm becoming a bad blogger. Hilang dan lupa mengisi blog ini begitu saja. Beberapa hari ini memang menjadi hari yang cukup hectic bagi gue, ngurus wisudaan, ngurus 17-an, panitia ngambek lah, panitia berantem lah. Sampe akhirnya terjatuh sakit begini... Well, ga parah sih... cuma sakit tenggorokan, batuk, pilek biasa. Cuma kalo dipikir-pikir gue udah gak sakit, well, hampir sekitar 8 bulan. Yang seinget gue, terakhir gue sakit kaya gini adalah......... pas gue putus sama mantan gue.


Hm.


It's funny isn't it? Kadang cuman ngeliat foto, ngeliat video, baca sms, baca tulisan, mencium wangi, semua bisa ngebawa kita ke memori-memori masa lampau. Ngebawa semua kenangan, manis, asem, pait, sejuk, panas, dingin. Semua. When life seems so easy. When life seems unfair. When loves seems the greatest feeling on earth. When you hate so much that you have fallen in love. Semua. Kedua sisinya. Ketika hidup terasa sangat sempurna, dan ketika dunia serasa runtuh dibuatnya.


Kalian pernah ngerasa patah hati gak? Some people said, the first cut is the deepest. Well, my ex is my first cut. He was the first man I truly love. He WAS The One. He was perfect for everyone but me. Dia benar-benar membuat standard yang sangat tinggi untuk ukuran seorang pacar. He took care of me like noone else did. Tapi entah kenapa, for me, back then, he was never enough. We fought like 7 times a week. We're from two different world. Sampai suatu titik ketika pertengkaran yang tadinya sering kita tertawakan, lama-lama menjadi kebiasaan. Sampai ketika rasa sayang mungkin terkikis entah kemana.


I was alone. Di titik itu, gue sangat hancur. Trauma. Gak banyak yang tau, karena emang gue gak suka cerita. Gak banyak yang tau, ya karena gue lebih suka nangis di kamar sendiri instead of di depan orang. Gengsi. I was scared. I was fragile.


Bukan hal yang mudah, yang pasti, to falling in love for the second time. Like Ika Natassa wrote on her book 'Divortiare' There's always a first tatto factor. (By tattoo she means all bad experience we had from the past, and as I mean here, is love)
Bukan sesuatu yang mudah untuk mengenal, menyukai, dan akhirnya sayang pada seseorang LAGI. Dan bukan hal yang mudah, untuk mempercayai bahwa mereka akan tetap disana dan tak pernah pergi.


Like I said, my ex really gave a high-standard for a boy friend. Dan lagi-lagi, bukan sesuatu yang mudah untuk menerima orang baru dengan cara menyayangi yang berbeda.

But, again, like Ika Natassa wrote "Kalo tujuan kita mencari Pengganti DIA, sampai kapanpun kita nggak akan nemu. DIA ya DIA cuma diciptakan Tuhan satu di dunia ini, nggak ada yang bakal nyamain. Yang harus kita cari itu orang yang menyayangi kita, mencintai kita, dan bisa bikin kita percaya sama cinta lagi"


Yeah. Gak mudah. Mengetik dan mengucapkannya terkesan mudah dan gampang, tapi ketika kita didalamnya gak akan pernah mudah. But here's the tip: Try. Fight for it. Fight for it cause we all deserve it. We all deserve to love and beloved.


Quicknote: Well, he's not that perfect. But he sure can make me trust again :)

Crossroads.

My life is at a crossroad. I hate crossroads. Can't God just give us a map that shows us the best, happiest place to be?

----Raditya Dika in his twitter

Her.

GOSH. I HATE Her.
I hate the way she makes me feel about my (sucks)life.
I hate the way, somehow, she's Right.

ARGGH.
I wish I were Marshanda, so I can upload a video, and scream her name out loud.
I wish, this time, she's Wrong.

Lost

I've lost you, somewhere along the road.

Quote #3

"You know what I want? I want to be someone’s reason for waking up, someone’s reason for going through another day. Just once, I want to be the one being wished for, I want a guy to say to himself, ‘I’m so lucky to have her.’ To put it simply, I want to be someone’s everything."

--taken from http://lovebot.tumblr.com

Quote #2

taken from http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com